So Hastings...

• Pashing your sister- So Hastings;
  
• Not realising she was your sister at the time- So Hastings;
  
• Going to the same school as your kids- So Hastings;
  
• Sleazing onto your brother in law- So Hastings;
  
• Getting into a drunken fight at a nightclub- So Hastings;
  
• Smoking/ snorting/ injecting drugs in a nightclub- So Hastings;
  
• Smoking/ snorting/ injecting drugs at school- So Hastings;
  
• Passing out on the bathroom floor of a nightclub- So Hastings;
  
• Going to a nightclub- So Hastings;
  
• Not being able to spell your own name- So Hastings;
  
• Not knowing your own name- So Hastings;
  
• Coming from a family with at least 8 children- (c’mon isn’t there a law against that these days) - So Hastings;
  
• Dad’s in prison- So Hastings;
  
• Bragging about it at school- So Hastings;
  
• Mum’s waiting in the council tax line- So Hastings;
  
• Helping your Mum hide the weapon/ porn/ drugs/ evidence before the police raids- So Hastings;
  
• Finding vomit on your doorstep- So Hastings;
  
• Getting a black eye- So Hastings;
  
• Getting two black eyes- So Hastings;
  
• Getting two black eyes and a hickey on your neck- So Hastings;
  
• Getting pregnant in Year 7- So Hastings;
  
• Getting pregnant again in Year 9- So Hastings;
  
• Punching your fist through a classroom window if given a detention- So Hastings;
  
• Filing a sexual/ physical assault lawsuit against your teachers- So Hastings;
  
• Never leaving Hastings- So Hastings.